I’ve just faced a fire…walked through a flaming inferno of one of my biggest fears this year.
Anyone who remembers last January when it was on slick roads, close to home, I crashed and totaled my Jeep. Now, the fact of the matter is, I’ve not really gotten over that episode completely and have harbored fears in my heart of when I would have to drive out on slippery roads again. Given my choice, it would be never, but reality would eventually rear its ugly head.
And so it did today. There was no way around it. Honest, I tried. But my sweet little old doggie, Scrapper, needed a refill on her prescription and today was the soonest it could happen. I was told to come pick it up this afternoon. Except our weather was the stuff of my nightmares. Freezing rain last night which turned to all rain all day, with more freezing rain tonight. So I planned, plotting for the best time to go. When the roads would be the safest. I can handle the rain, I just could not handle the ice again.
So I left the house, feeling like I might never return. Melodramatic perhaps, but this nightmare has plagued me all year, so its had lots of time to fester. Naturally, when I came to the bridge where it had happened, my heart was in my throat and a semi was coming at me. De ja vu? Oh yeah. But it all passed uneventfully. Taking my time, remembering to breathe once in a while, I made to the pharmacy, confident my journey was half way over. I felt like scoring a touchdown dance when I crossed the doorway.
Except they didn’t have Scrap’s medication. Seems an accidental oversight somehow occurred and her mix was never mixed. Something to that general business anyway. They could have it mixed up and ready in about an hour if I wanted to come back. Or tomorrow they were open till four, getting off early for the Thanksgiving holiday. Terribly sorry, lots of apologies and I got a free calendar. What I wanted was to not come back out on bad roads. I am not to proud to admit the drive in to them had already scared me pretty bad. In an hour, the temps would have dropped and the roads would have started slicking up.
So in the end I said I’d see what I could do about coming back for it, not promising anything and started the trek home. Again, I am not too proud to say my anxiety was high, my teeth were clenched and my mood was bad. If only I could have had her medication, it might have somehow justified the anxiety and necessity of going out in the weather. But to come back with just a calendar was insane. And downright frustrating. My foot barely touched the gas as I approached the bridge where the wreck had occurred ten months ago. I stared straight ahead, heart hammering, teeth clenched, hands tight on the wheel. No approaching semis this time, which was a blessing.
And I made it safely across. Remembering to breathe again, I made it the last half mile home. Pulling in the driveway, I felt the overwhelming urge to cry. I’ve faced my demon, I’ve walked through the flames, I’ve made it home safely. However, and I have to acknowledge this, the roads were really only wet and rainy, not icy just yet. But they will be soon enough. And that is why my darling Scrapper is not getting her refill tonight. Tomorrow maybe.